Reckless
by starah
Summary: In Drum Island, Nami thinks about her captain while she is sick.


[[A/N: Nami reflects here on a certain someone. It's not a necessarily romantic story, but rather how she perceives that person in her respect. .  
  
This reflection occurs during the Drum Island Arc. Watching the entire climbing scene made me feel all toasty-oasty warm even though Drum Island is a cold, cold place. So thinking deeply about the roots of what made me feel so nice, I 've dished out this exploration. And all I hope is that it makes you think... or smile.  
  
'Cause it doesn't only concern her... it could concern you too. ^_^]]  
  
::EDIT:: *looks at Nik-san's review* *looks at fanfic* ....watashi... baka desu. *bows to readers, enthrones Nik-san and bangs head on wall repeatedly*  
  
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Have you ever done anything completely reckless? Something so strange and bizarre and so out of proportion not even you realise or understand what you're actually attempting to do?  
  
I have, quite a number of times. I tried to steal from the worst pirates in the East Blue, ten to twenty times stronger than me. I risked a storm - even though I knew it was coming - to escape the clutches of a pirate crew chasing me for taking their collection of pearls. I even made a really, really risky promise that I should have known better about.  
  
But there's one thing that I know practically everyone's done. They probably don't even realise they've done it, but what I'm talking about is extremely reckless. They probably don't know how reckless it is, but I think I understand just how truly difficult it is to do this deed easily. And the funny thing is, it's the most ordinary people who have risked it.  
  
When you've been left alone and given a responsibility no one meant to give you, you tend to notice certain things. Especially when you're left to do something you've always wanted to do for yourself and your foster-mother, but you end up doing it for the very people who murdered your mother. With only one confidente at home and you constantly on the move, deceiving more people and stealing from pirates - when you're under circumstances like these, specific things just happen to catch your mind and stick.  
  
You might be wondering what I'm talking about by now. It's really one of the most amazingly reckless things people tend to do without a second thought without realising the meaning of what they're actually doing.  
  
What I'm talking about is Trust.  
  
Trust. It's a weird word if you keep looking at it. You may be wondering how hard it is to do this. But perhaps you don't realise what it means to give someone your Trust. To simply let go of fact and common sense and give in to Faith and simply Believe in someone, no matter who they are or what they're like. To Trust in someone so much you would risk your life with that person and believe in what they said because they said it.  
  
But one of the strongest forms of Faith is to Trust someone enough to risk your life for them. Because it means you have to Trust they're worth risking your life for. This means they Believe you're worth spending time with, worth getting to know. And these things are, most definitely to me, Important.  
  
He manages to give his Trust to just about anyone (or anything) despite anyone else's warning, though. Well, he has befriended a thief and a liar, not to mention two extra violent male things I have yet to define the species of and a deer that's not fully human or animal. Hell, he'd probably ask to be best friends with a bear about to eat him.  
  
It's a fact, not an opinion, that he's a true moron, but you can't under-estimate the kid. Because even though he manages to get into the worst twists and situations due to a definite lack of thinking and common sense, he's no fool to the heart. And Trusting requires the heart.  
  
I wonder how he does it, though. Trusting is Difficult. Suspicions and Lies happen all the time, right under our noses and most of the time in our very own heads. But he's... he's immune to that. He's immune to impure thought. Maybe that's how he does it; how he puts his Trust into another with a big smile, Believing fully that person will not Betray him.  
  
It's amazing, when I think about it. Then again, he does happen to be an incredibly reckless character. He does things on impulse, Trusting his own instrincts. He Trusts easily, and never regrets it.  
  
And somehow, this Trust he gives usually returns to him ten-fold. He is strong, I must digress, but it's not just that. I think it's him. As I have said a multiude of times, Trusting is Difficult. And if he can Trust in you, then I suppose it means you can Trust in him.  
  
***  
  
He looks at me expectantly through my feverish haze of thought and vision and he says to me in his usual, calm tone,  
  
"Hey, unless we climb up some mountain we can't get you a doctor. So let's go hiking."  
  
Hiking. In my bed-ridden state, it sounds just little more than a toe out of line.  
  
I turn my head just slightly, pain pulsating from my temples at that slight movement. I sense his presence near mine, feel his eyes on my face. And I wonder why he's bothering so much for me. I haven't done anything for him other than navigate his ship, and truthfully he could probably get someone else to do it. Especially now, in the midst of urgency, since Vivi knows how to navigate ships too.  
  
But what I feel from him is so strong and so steady. He Believes in me this much; Believes I'm worth this much trouble. And he's looking at me very calmly, as though he knows I'll get through all my problems soon. No, that's not it... he's Believing he can pull me through this.  
  
It's so hard to describe how good this makes me feel. I don't want to admit to anyone - not even to myself - but every passing hour, I can feel my strength sap away, my body deteriorate just a bit more, just feel my lids grow heavier and harder to lift. When I was sick while working for Arlong, I just went through it and ignored it. See, I'd never gotten this sick before.  
  
And to have people there for you, to care about and care for you... to Believe you're Worth the Trouble. It embarasses yet pleases me at the same time. Because it's not my ability he cares about much anymore. And I feel that.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous. What the hell are you trying to make Nami-san do!!!"  
  
That's Sanji-kun's voice. He's... worried about me. Man. I'll never get used to the fact he really means it.  
  
"That's okay. I'll piggy-back her."  
  
What? He will? That's a weird thought... I mean, my captain doesn't seem like someone who'd offer to hold someone up. No wait... put in that way, he definitely is someone keen to do that...  
  
"Even so her condition will get worse!"  
  
The voices seem to be getting more muffled and distant; I can feel myself sinking back into my heat, my disturbing pounding at the back of my brain... Like I said, I hate to admit it, but Vivi is very likely right... I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't think I can climb a cliff - even on his back - in this condition...  
  
"Why? The faster we cure her the better."  
  
Heh... typical response..  
  
"I know that's true but it's impossible!! Look at the cliff and its height!!"  
  
Stuggling not to fall back into my pained stupor, I pull myself out of the fever's grip for a few moments just in time to hear my captain say extremely resolutely:  
  
"We can do it."  
  
It wasn't just him he was referring to... he was being general. We can do it. He Trusted both himself and me. And here I was, doubting...  
  
"Even though you can do it, it's an impossible burden for Nami-san!"  
  
...Sanji-kun...  
  
"But then... even if we do fall the floor's made of snow anyway."  
  
Pfft.  
  
"Falling off that mountain would kill anyone!"  
  
"She's a patient with a temperature six degrees above the norm! Don't you understand what that means?!"  
  
Usopp's here too?  
  
Hehe. There's just something amusing about asking the captain 'do you understand' about anything.  
  
"! ...Nami-san."  
  
"Nami!!"  
  
Surprised responses to my chuckle from two of the most closest people to me. I feel a lot more warmer all of a sudden...  
  
I turn and squint at him. He's looking at me in a nonchalant fashion. I know what he's thinking... no, knowing I'll say. He's putting his Trust in me... just like everyone else is. Especially Vivi.  
  
I don't feel up to this, I really don't, but... if it's him, then I suppose I can return his Trust, right? So I have to get better fast... We have to go to Alabasta quickly...  
  
Smiling, I look up to meet my captain's eyes. And a sense of comfort fills me as I see his eyes trained on me, waiting patiently for my answer.  
  
I pull my hand up from under the blankets, trying not to wince under the stress of dragging a bone-ache filled arm across thick, heavy duvets. The moment my bare skin meets the air, I feel a chill travel from my fingertips to my elbow. However, the smile remains on my lips.  
  
"...I'll depend on you."  
  
His eyes brighten immediately, his lips splitting into a grin. He slaps his hand across mine, a clean, sharp sound sealing the unsigned contract. And I suddenly remember now... the first time we did this, he had pressed his Trust into me even though we had barely known each other for a day or so. I never realised we'd reach this point of understanding back then...  
  
He says enthusiastically,  
  
"That's the spirit! Leave it to me!"  
  
I can't seem to stop smiling. It just... feels so good. To be able to depend on something so solid, so trustworthy.  
  
"...I don't believe this. The captain may the captain but the navigator's just the same!!"  
  
"Do you actually realise what your condition is?! Nami-san!!"  
  
It feels nice to be cared about... I simply nod as I retract my hand back under the covers. I can hear him cheerfully talking to a man I presume owns this house...  
  
"Mister, some meat please!"  
  
"...Meat?"  
  
Just hearing the man's confused tone is amusing. He's one hilarious moron...  
  
"Nami, are you sure about this?! This could take over hours."  
  
Hmm...? Usopp... his gaze of concern is something I'm finding rather sweet. No doubt I will regret thinking this when I'm back to normal again, and Usopp kicks me forward to fight by myself...  
  
I smile reassuringly, well, as reassuring as possible in my current state, and slowly pass my bleary eyes from Usopp to the captain. And returning my eyes to Usopp, I nod.  
  
And as one of the closest in terms of understanding to me, Usopp nods in return. His brows are still laced with worry, but I can tell he Trusts him just as much as I do.  
  
As the boys get chased out of the house so Vivi can help me put on some more clothes underneath, I find myself mostly unworried.  
It's as I drape my arms over his shoulders and feel him hold the sword-sheath securely under my backside when I realise I've never gotten this close to the captain before. Physically, that is.  
  
I find it a sharp contrast from when Sanji-kun had held me. See, Sanji-kun constantly has this air of protecting when he holds me. He's very tender in his touch, very gentle.  
  
He, on the other hand, has a very firm grip. He doesn't seem to find me a burden at all. It's hard to explain, but I feel almost part of him like this. As he stands up, I feel my nose brush against his neck. It's a rubbery texture, to no absolute surprise, but he's warm. It's comforting.  
  
"That's it. I'm going too."  
  
Sanji-kun, too? Well, the captain probably needs *some* sort of common sense... not that Sanji-kun has a lot of that, but he's got more than the rubber idiot.  
  
The cold air rushes past my skin as we go outside the small cabin, and I feel goose-bumps and chills immediately greet me. Convulsing violently, my arms start to slip off as Vivi sets about to tying some sash around my waist and his. He raises his shoulders so my arms stay around his neck, throws me a glance and continues to watch Vivi tightly knot the cloth ends.  
  
I feel a nice warmth spread through me from the look he just gave me. It was a rare look, one that was sweetly worried. It was like the one he had been giving me when he had been given the responsibility to look after me one of the evenings while I was sick aboard the S.S. Going Merry.  
  
From such a seemingly unemotive and unreactive guy, it feels incredibly nice to be someone he cares about...  
  
"If you trip over even once, think that Nami's going to die!"  
  
"What? Just once?!"  
  
...then again, his recklessness scares me a little, not to mention his stupidity... Thank God Sanji-kun is coming, too... Luffy gives a restles shuffle, causing my arms to shift a little.  
  
"Hang on..."  
  
I hear Vivi mutter somewhere distantly,  
  
"Stay still for a second. I've got to tie this on securely."  
  
...Hmm... what's happening? A pain is grinding somewhere in the middle of my brain as chills turn my skin inside out, and bit by bit the noises around me are fading away...  
  
"You're done."  
  
Vivi announces, but it's as though she's saying it through water. I shut my swollen lids, and find I can no longer open them... I strain to hear what she is saying, and hear snippets of her sentences...  
  
"...wait for you! ...I did go... only be a burden..."  
  
"Me too!"  
  
I can't open my lids... I shift a little uncomfortably on his back, and I feel his grip tighten beneath my knees.  
  
"Understood!"  
  
He says, his voice close enough to my ear to hear, and then he turns his head so that his mouth is close to my face.  
  
"Then, Nami, hold on tight!"  
  
His breath is a soft cloud of warm mist against my skin, strong and assuring. I never would have thought I'd find him so reliable and safe...  
  
Vivi tied my gloves together around Luffy's neck anyhow, but I know I need to keep a grip anyway... just in case...  
  
"Nn..."  
  
I barely manage to reply when I realise I can barely speak in even croaks. The uneven pains in my head are twisting me, but the chills are dying away.  
  
Because I feel so secure with this guy. I can Trust him with all my heart, and I truly know I can. And I will.  
  
The voices die out, and my vision is sealed tight. But I can feel my heart beat against his back, feel his comforting warmth against my nose. His body is solid against my body, and his hold beneath my legs is Trustworthy and tight....  
  
I hear just a flitter of his words:  
  
"Don't worry Nami. We'll get you up there..."  
  
"Of course we will you idiot!!"  
  
I tighten my arms around his neck and involuntarily smile. 


End file.
